2018 isn’t exactly starting on an up-note. I’m unhappy, anxious, sleeping terribly.
One of my objectives is to write more. Not WIP writing, but journaling. Meditative writing? Writing that helps me find some focus? So maybe it’s better to say, one of my objectives is to start journaling again.
Writing fiction is like pulling teeth these days. More than it has ever been. The plots are there. The characters are there. The words will not get on the screen. Doesn’t help that the first draft is always shit.
When I first started writing seriously, one of the things that helped the words flow better was to do morning pages. That worked amazingly well. In my mind, since I was capable of brain-vomiting onto these three 8×11 pages every day, I was certainly capable of intentional storytelling. I stopped after one particularly negative set of morning pages. The internal chatter can get rather negative and one morning putting it on paper seemed to feed it into an even worse monster of self-loathing. So… that ended.
I’m a little afraid to begin again. My head isn’t exactly an Eden of positivity, rainbows, and gumdrops. Another challenge is I currently get up with the baby, and there’s no way I can stream-of-consciousness write with the baby up and about. The obvious solution is to get up before the baby. (ugh)
So… eventually morning pages. But first, normal recording of daily thoughts.
I’ve been re-reading a lot lately. My favorites by Charity Parkerson, Megan Derr, even Kim Dare. I’d say 80% of my reading so far this year has been re-reads. I’m considering a rule that after every re-read I have to write a piece of fanfiction based on the book, just to break up the binging.
I’m currently trying to exorcise a story set in the world of Black Magic that I want to write every time I read the book. I try not to write fanfiction like this, where I’m using the world and the backstory but creating everything else. I have my own worlds and stories waiting patiently, and I should be working on those.
The Christmas dishes have been sitting on the dining table for a couple of weeks. They need a real home. So, I tackled the linen/sewing supply closet. I’ve got several boxes of random cloth things to go to goodwill. The plates have a new, safe home, and I was able to put away a bunch of blankets.
I don’t feel like the de-cluttering is paying off yet.